Singapore Watch

Got this off Insaintly Yours. Satire’s the ‘in-thing’ these days.

From an anomynous comment off Singabloodypore:

“You guys have to be fools not to realise how LUCKY Singaporeans are
read about the experience of this Singapore who went on tour to USA and come back fully understanding how LUCKY a country Singapore is.

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Singaporeans are lucky people. If you open up the newspapers in Singapore to read , there is nothing but good news and good ideas from the ruling government. There is daily hope that things will get better. Once a week someone in Singapore achieve something big - like urine power batteries. Everyone live in harmony with the government - even opposition in Singapore is nice and quiet. The government is virtually perfect based on what the Singapore news papers say and are always thinking of ways to improve the lives of Singaporeans. The govt of Singapore is always helping its people - recently to help the poor buy flats. It looks like Singaporeans are relatively problem free and happy - not much suffering in Singapore.

When I went on tour in the US for one month and when I read the newspaper, I was horrified this country has so much problems. People going on strike because they think their pay is too low. Politicians arguing with each other on various issues. Unheard of in Singapore. The newspapers is full of criticism of the govt - obviously the Leaders in America are not as smart as Singapore leaders - nobody in Singapore can find anything wrong with the PAP. The people I met in America are generally unhappy with their lives and always talking about trying to change it - they dream of becoming rich, becoming movie stars, becoming singers, becoming this on that. I even met a 40 year old guy who was attending medical school - obviously he is unhappy with his job as a waiter. Contrast that with Singaporeans who are very happy with their current existence many are happy with their current jobs and don’t dream much about the future.

When I was on tour, I found out America has poor public transport system - no MRT, few public bus. Can’t imagine how they get around.

Their service sector is behind us by decades, I went the hotel restaurant to eat, the first day they were very nice to me. The second day I went back, they were not nice. I was offended, so like very good Singaporean I complained. They told me I did not tip them the first day. Waliao, in America must ‘tip’ to get service. In Singapore, I never have to tip!

Another day I wondered on to the streets and found a man distributing anti-government material. I read it and it accused the US govt of causing the suffering in 3rd world countries. Why does the US govt allow the people to accuse it? In singapore, this person would have been arrested. Another day, a Hispanic union group gathered in a rally accusing employers of discrimination - how can they do that? don’t they know that busineeses if not given a free hand to do what they want will just invest in china or india. How come their union is not working with the employer to harmonise worker relations and persuade workers to accept their current conditions.

One day when I was on the “free and easy” part of my tour I found a way to take the bus around in Los Angeles. At my 3rd stop, a cyclist wanted to take the bus, the bus driver got down the bus and help him to mount his bicycle on a structure at the front of the bus. I was disgusted, how can he do that, it caused delay to every one on the bus. I’m surprised Americans put up with that. Half way through the ride, the bus got a bit crowded, just like Singapore people don’t move to the rear. At the bus stop people trying to get up shouted loudly at the people in the bus to “move to the rear guys!! we can’t get up!!”. In Singapore, people would have kept quiet and waited for the bus driver to do something - if nothing is done they would have just waited for the next bus. This shows that Americans are impatient lot - unlike Singapore they don’t trust the person in the leadership position(bus driver) to do his job.

As I move around in America, I realise the problem of older workers getting jobs is far worse that in Singapore. I saw very few old folks working in America - they are mostly sitting in parks or playing with their grand children. I guess they do that because they are unable to find a job. In contrary, we see many old folks in Singapore working as cleaners and at MacDonalds. We should be thankful that in Singapore even old folks can find jobs. In America, old folks are jobless and sitting around doing nothing. It is obvious the American government is unable to solve the structural unemployment problem and are unable to redesign jobs for older workers. These old folks in America must be suffering without an income and spending so much time in the park when they should be working.

I went to one place that was having an election for a Mayor. So much money wasted on posters and hundreds of people wasting time campaigning for the candidates. Why do they waste time doing that? In Singapore, instead of having so many people choose a president, we simply have a panel of 3 people to do it - it is cheaper and waste less energy. Obviously America has alot to learn from Singapore.

The only place I like alot is Las Vegas. Wow the bright lights and the wonderful casinos. Yes, I like it alot although one night at the jackpot machine, I don’t know what happened to me and I lost $500. For some reason, I couldn’t stop myself. But later when I watch the show with the pirate ship and girls in bikini, I felt much better and forgot my loss. Certainly I’ll come back to Las Vegas. You can see that the Singapore govt also realise that most Singaporeans will like Las Vegas, so they are build 2 casinos in Singapore to bring Las Vegas to Singaporeans. See, how much the PAP govt cares about you, to make sure you’re well entertained and have some excitement in your life.

You can see for yourself how lucky singapore is as a country. People above 60 are still able to find jobs and continue working. Everyone living in harmony happily. No time wasted on debates and protests. No confusing concepts to deal with. After my tour in America, I’m so glad that we have such a good government that put the smile on the faces of Singaporeans everyday…and when I open up the newspapers, I can see everything is fine and dandy. Our citizens are obedient and trust their leaders.